Welcome to Round Two of The Beatles "White Album" Showdown! Last week, we spent a good deal of time ignoring the yard work that needed to be done, and instead pitted the 30 individual tracks on The Beatles (aka "The White Album") against each other in head-to-head matchups, resulting in 16 tracks being declared winners. A splendid time was guaranteed for all, and the resulting bracket looked like this (click to enlarge the image):
This week, because there is still yard work to be done, those 16 tracks will be further narrowed down to an Elite Eight. Highly scientific methods were employed here: musical structures were evaluated against lyrical content, production value was taken into consideration, and then ultimately it was decided that this seemed like a lot of work, and flipping a coin was easier.
So let's get to it!
#2 Dear Prudence vs #18 Why Don't We Do It in the Road?
Paul McCartney's fun little novelty song about committing acts of indecent exposure was fun while it lasted, but John Lennon's masterpiece wins this round easily, not least because of some seriously cool guitar picking in the intro and outro. "Prudence" advances.
#1 Back in the USSR vs #17 Piggies
Both songs employ the use of clever sound effects, but Paul's send-up of Chuck Berry-style lyrics and Beach Boys-style vocals is fantastically clever, and a driving good rocker to boot. "USSR" wins hands down, with a paper bag on its knee.
#9 While My Guitar Gently Weeps vs #8 I Will
A very close matchup, right down to the final buzzer. "I Will" is one of the sweetest love songs ever written, but "Guitar" has a special claim to fame: it was the final song George Martin ever scored for orchestra strings. (See the version on the Love album.)
#4 Helter Skelter vs #13 Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey
Two rocking tunes, lots of screaming, an overdose of dirty guitar -- this is one close contest. Have you ever listened to the shrieking background vocals in "Helter Skelter," though, especially in the mono version? Absolutely spine-tingling. "Helter Skelter" emerges victorious. See you at the bottom!
#12 I'm So Tired vs #5 Revolution 1
Let's face it: the faster, heavier version of "Revolution" was cooler. And "I'm So Tired" has that weird mumbled bit at the end that, when played backwards, reveals clues about Paul McCartney's death. "Tired" was never going to lose this round.
#10 Julia vs #7 Sexy Sadie
John's surly take-down of the Maharishi in "Sexy Sadie" is crammed full of quotable lines, set to a catchy tune and capped off with that memorable, haunting falsetto "oooooh." It's tough to beat, and in this contest, "Sadie" wins.
#3 Happiness is a Warm Gun vs #14 Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da
Yes, Paul's bouncy little jingle is happy and go-lucky, but John's three-part opus is legendary, and features some sizzling guitar work by George Harrison in the middle section. "Happiness" wins without much of a struggle.
#22 Honey Pie vs #6 Blackbird
Does "Blackbird" have what it takes to win here, with its fancy guitar work, simple tap-tap percussion, and hopeful lyrics? Obviously. "Blackbird" moves on to the next round.
For those keeping score at home, then, the Elite Eight of The Beatles "White Album" are these:
- Dear Prudence
- Back in the USSR
- While My Guitar Gently Weeps
- Helter Skelter
- I'm So Tired
- Sexy Sadie
- Happiness is a Warm Gun
- Blackbird
Next week, we'll narrow these down to the Final Fab Four, the Semi-Finals, and -- drumroll, please, Ringo -- the ultimate winner, the without-a-doubt best song on the entire album. I'm certain we'll all agree on the results!