Adapted with permission from Octopus' Garden fanzine, Volume 30, Issue #2, December 2020.
John Lennon: Why We Still Care by Jude Southerland Kessler
Author of The John Lennon Series
Four decades after his passing…and still we pause, celebrating the life of John Lennon, looking back not with misty-eyed nostalgia but with clear-headed vision that embraces both his many strengths and his many weaknesses.
John Lennon was no saint…that’s for sure. He never – not even as a
teen – suffered fools lightly, and when the press (in 1963-66) asked him
ridiculous questions such as “What do you do with all that hair while you
sleep?” he, often as not, presented a jaw-clinched, disgusted visage and threw
them a sharp retort. He admitted that he had “a chip on [his] shoulder bigger
than his feet,” and so his ire often flared in instances through which Paul was
able to maneuver with some politically-correct response. And yes, John was
often jealous and sharp-tongued…and infrequently physical with Cynthia.
But despite the faults that his latter-day detractors have hurled at
him, he is still the most exceptional individual I’ve ever known. John Lennon
endured a string of life tragedies that none
of us could weather, and ultimately, he used them for good. He used them to
create beautiful, haunting, lasting lyrical compositions…he gave us the
soundtrack of our lives.
Look, John had every reason to be bitter. At age five, his parents
(for very complicated reasons) surrendered him to his Aunt Mimi and Uncle
George to rear – and although George Toogood Smith was truly “too good” (exceptionally
kind and loving), Mimi was not. She was the soul of decorum and discipline. And
when six-year-old John – begging for love – would ask her, “Mimi, why are you
here every day when I come home from school?” she would only respond, “Because
it’s my duty to do so.” Mimi taught
John many important things: to study, go to church, mind his manners, behave…but
she never taught to him to love.
As John grew into his preteen years, he “found out” that his mother,
Julia, lived only about a mile from Mimi’s house. And he began to visit her
frequently, getting to know his two half-sisters, Julia and Jacqui. It was a
bond John cherished, but the knowledge that his mother didn’t “despise
children,” after all – that she wanted
her two girls and not him – was a heavy cross to bear. Alone in his bed at
Mendips, he wondered what he’d done to make her push him aside. He yearned for
her love and attention.
But that doubt must have been dispelled somewhat when, after the loss
of John’s beloved Uncle George (when John was almost 15…a time when he needed a
“father” most), Julia came back into his life as his best friend. For two
years, his mother and he bonded. Julia encouraged John to skip school and hang
out with her. She taught him to play banjo, told him he “had music in his bones,”
played her rock’n’roll records for him, and helped him form a skiffle band, the
Quarry Men. She invited the fledgling band to practice in her acoustically excellent
bathroom, and many times, she banged on pots and pans, their drummer. Julia was
beloved by them all, part of their group. However, on 15 July 1958, she was hit
by a drunk driver and instantly killed. And once again, John lost her. But this
time forever, to death.
If this had been John’s last tragedy, he would have been completely
justified in being angry at the world. Even at this juncture, he had every
reason to give up and quit – to become a delinquent, a criminal, a bitter
hermit — withdrawn from society. And many (including Dave Bennion, the “Head
Boy” or Prefect at Quarry Bank Grammar) thought Lennon would do just that.
But instead of surrendering to a life of sorrow, John began to write
songs born of the pain. And over the next five years, he wailed at the
microphones of Merseyside and Hamburg and then the U.K. and finally, the world,
for Julia. He told us all, “If she’s gone, I can’t go on, feelin’ two foot
small.” And, “I’m a loser, and I’m not what I appear to be,” and “I’ve got
every reason on earth to be mad, ’cause I just lost the only girl I had. If I
could get my way, I’d get myself locked up today, but I can’t so I’ll cry
instead.” Using his loss to weave beauty, John Lennon created The Beatles. He
relentlessly pushed them — when on many occasions, such as December of 1960,
they gave up and returned to “regular jobs” — to achieve, conquer, succeed.
In his life, John did many great things. He was a talented writer, penning
two award-winning books of wry, satirical poetry and prose. He was a gifted
single-line artist whose gallery still tours the world to critical acclaim. He
was a global advocate for peace. He was a fighter for Irish independence,
writing two songs for the cause and leading the New York City march on BOAC on
behalf of the Irish people. John had myriad talents.
But today, we remember him most because he left us the example of a
life well-lived. He left us an example of a man who never surrendered to the lashing
that the world can dole out. John never let the unending tragedies that tried
to crush him snuff out his soul.
After the loss of his mother, John went on to endure the death of his
soul mate, Stu Sutcliffe. And John suffered at the hands of an unfeeling press
when a remark he’d made to close journalist friend Maureen Cleave was lifted by
Datebook magazine, taken out of
context, and used to generate a hate campaign against John and The Beatles. In
later life, John suffered a messy divorce from a girl he had once loved deeply.
And in his last decade, he and his second wife, Yoko Ono, lost babies to miscarriages.
Even John’s solo career was rocky: his music was banned by the BBC for his
support of Ireland. Life for John Lennon was never ever easy.
And yet, John never surrendered. On certain days, when I feel down or depressed or hurt or angry, when I threaten to throw up my hands and walk away…I think of John. I think of his resolve and his “toppermost of the poppermost” attitude and his unflinching determination. In a year of political vitriol and insults, serious health issues, economic distress, and personal challenges, I look to him as a life model. And researching and writing about his life with sincere admiration for 35 years, I repeat about John Winston Lennon the very best compliment that I could ever give to anyone: he never gave up.
And that…that is why we still care.